In an attempt to get through a bout of writer’s block earlier this morning, I turned to the biscuit jar for procrastination and inspiration – only to find it empty. “Naaaaattt,” I yelled across the way to our constantly attentive editorial co-ordinator, “Why are we out of biscuits – didn’t we just open a packet last night?” Her reply to this casual query was so in-depth – so fraught with intrigue – that I just had to get her to write it down. It’s worth sharing, you see.

So here, for your reading pleasure, are Nat’s insights into the daily working of the SHOP biscuit jar…

“We have a pack a day habit. No, not cigarettes. Not Coronas. But Arnott’s Cream Biscuits. Disregard now all stereotypes you have of starving fashion packs and lettuce leaf salads on repeat. We’re talking Monte Carlos by the bucket-full.

Seriously, the bucket-full. Our cookie jar is literally that – a bucket. I think it was made as a mass storage device, perhaps meant as a toy chest or a laundry hamper rather than a humble cookie jar, but nevertheless it is emptied by 5pm each day. Sometimes, we even break open a second pack because 48 biscuits just doesn’t seem to do the trick when we’re on deadline. It’s become a bona fide addiction.

At first I thought the novelty would slide – like any good trend it was destined to run it course. But five months later the Monte Carlo is still the accessory du jour for the SHOP team.

Being the designated ‘biscuit barrel refiller’ I have my work cut out for me. I’ve even tried switching to the standard, non-cream family pack to try and help curb the habit but the appeal doesn’t seem to be fading.

Everyone keeps apologising to each other on multiple clicks of the lid, ‘Sorry guys – I promise this is my last one.’ But no – it is never the last one. This fad is here to stay – a trans-seasonal classic at best. Just like the LBD, this one doesn’t look like going out of fashion any time soon. And so, I keep ordering those Arnott’s Family Packs. Because someone is always wondering, ‘What happened to the one we opened yesterday?’ It’s enough to send a girl bananas.”

So there you have it. I know to never ask Nat about biscuits. Ever again. Tomorrow I think I’ll bring in an apple from home…